One of the amazing things about being a hearing wife is you can talk about pretty much whatever you want to your husband in public and people won't understand you....usually.
We have had plenty of serious conversations on the train, bus, in restaurants, etc. We have learned that if people are staring at us, they are usually just enthralled with sign language and are usually not fast enough to catch what we are saying. If they are actually deaf, they will probably just introduce themselves, or they won't say anything and we will never see them again anyways (this is NYC). It gave us a lot of "alone time" when we were dating, even though we were always surrounded by people.
The other day Fayoz and I were riding a bus when a REALLY scary person walked on to the bus. We see a lot of scary people in NY, but this one was seriously scary. Tattooed eyebrows crazy hair and glaring right at us with malice.
I turned to Fayoz and quietly (by quiet I mean using small signs) said: "Do you think that's a man or a woman?"
Fayoz glanced back at the person and said "I don't know...maybe a man dressed as a woman?"
*Glare*
Okay...we started talking about other things and the man/woman continued to glare at us until our stop.
We got off and the person got off with us. I guess he/she had the same stop and hopefully wasn't planning on following us. As we turned to go, the person faced me and started forcefully signing:
"I'm not a man! I'm a woman!!!"
Silent scream!!
I was so shocked that she had just started signing at me, I barely registered what she was saying. I managed to sign "Oh okay" or something like that and just walked away stunned.
What the heck?! This is probably the first time Fayoz and I had even really talked about someone else in front of them and this ONE PERSON who's gender I decided call into question knew sign language?!?! What are the chances of this!
I was totally mortified. Fayoz said he was sure that she was deaf, he says he can just tell these things (although apparently not before I open my big mouth! - I mean hands?).
I felt soooo bad. I mean, we usually make instant friends with deaf people because you just feel an automatic connection with them wherever you meet them. Obviously, this woman had a really rough life and was super bitter at the world. I could have been talking about the gospel and our wonderful deaf church group and maybe she could have been inspired! We could have even invited her to come with us and find happiness and friends! Instead the one encounter she had with me was me asking if she is a man or a woman, and was clearly offended. If she is deaf, she might have never had that question since she can't communicate with most people (then again deaf people are really bold and likely to just ask her directly what her gender is). Neither Fayoz or I are gossipers either, so I don't even think about what I wouldn't want overheard when I'm talking to him because we are usually saying something positive.
This is NYC - I will probably never see that woman again. But I wish I could so I could make it up to her somehow.
Anyways, I learned a really big lesson. The lesson is this:
Never talk negatively about another person. If you must say something that could be considered even slightly offensive, wait until they are out of eyeshot.
We have had plenty of serious conversations on the train, bus, in restaurants, etc. We have learned that if people are staring at us, they are usually just enthralled with sign language and are usually not fast enough to catch what we are saying. If they are actually deaf, they will probably just introduce themselves, or they won't say anything and we will never see them again anyways (this is NYC). It gave us a lot of "alone time" when we were dating, even though we were always surrounded by people.
The other day Fayoz and I were riding a bus when a REALLY scary person walked on to the bus. We see a lot of scary people in NY, but this one was seriously scary. Tattooed eyebrows crazy hair and glaring right at us with malice.
I turned to Fayoz and quietly (by quiet I mean using small signs) said: "Do you think that's a man or a woman?"
Fayoz glanced back at the person and said "I don't know...maybe a man dressed as a woman?"
*Glare*
Okay...we started talking about other things and the man/woman continued to glare at us until our stop.
We got off and the person got off with us. I guess he/she had the same stop and hopefully wasn't planning on following us. As we turned to go, the person faced me and started forcefully signing:
"I'm not a man! I'm a woman!!!"
Silent scream!!
I was so shocked that she had just started signing at me, I barely registered what she was saying. I managed to sign "Oh okay" or something like that and just walked away stunned.
What the heck?! This is probably the first time Fayoz and I had even really talked about someone else in front of them and this ONE PERSON who's gender I decided call into question knew sign language?!?! What are the chances of this!
I was totally mortified. Fayoz said he was sure that she was deaf, he says he can just tell these things (although apparently not before I open my big mouth! - I mean hands?).
I felt soooo bad. I mean, we usually make instant friends with deaf people because you just feel an automatic connection with them wherever you meet them. Obviously, this woman had a really rough life and was super bitter at the world. I could have been talking about the gospel and our wonderful deaf church group and maybe she could have been inspired! We could have even invited her to come with us and find happiness and friends! Instead the one encounter she had with me was me asking if she is a man or a woman, and was clearly offended. If she is deaf, she might have never had that question since she can't communicate with most people (then again deaf people are really bold and likely to just ask her directly what her gender is). Neither Fayoz or I are gossipers either, so I don't even think about what I wouldn't want overheard when I'm talking to him because we are usually saying something positive.
This is NYC - I will probably never see that woman again. But I wish I could so I could make it up to her somehow.
Anyways, I learned a really big lesson. The lesson is this:
Never talk negatively about another person. If you must say something that could be considered even slightly offensive, wait until they are out of eyeshot.
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