The Birth Story of an Angel

It’s been exactly a year since my sweet Mason arrived and I want to (finally) share his birth story. Mason has taken away nothing good from my life and given me everything. The entire time he has been in my life - I mean my whole pregnancy, his birth and the whole year he has been with us - he has brought so much joy and peace.

We all really adore this boy and can't imagine a life without him

So here it is, the story of the best day of my life!!

BIRTH STORY! (Mostly written 10/23/20)

My sweet baby boy is here!! 

All my studying, pondering and prayer about birth paid off - I could not imagine having a better birth for my situation. Heavenly Father was really looking out for both of us.

Jesse’s c-section was traumatic in some ways. With Alora I just really didn’t want another c-section. I would have liked a natural birth but I didn’t really prepare myself for a natural birth because I didn’t want to be too upset if I ended up having a c-section. I was able to have her naturally with no medication and felt really great about her birth and so I felt very confident I could do it again and was ready to really dive into natural birth and be more prepared this time.

Fayoz and I took a Bradley method class from Heather Kendrick - apparently almost all the ladies in my branch have had natural Bradley method births! I was pregnant at the same time as Julia and Abby who took it with me. They both had their babies on the same day.

I read most of two Bradley method books lent to me, almost all of Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, and most of the Gift of Giving Life. The last two were both recommendations from Elisa who also does natural births who I talked to a lot about natural birth while pregnant.

I learned a lot from all my studies and was often amazed, especially by Ina May’s discoveries. It was amazing to me she has repeatedly observed the cervix will open and close depending on who is in the room with the woman and how safe she feels. It really convinced me of how difficult it is to give birth in a hospital where it is an unfamiliar space that feels unsafe, you have no control over your own privacy and who is in the room and how you are treated by the staff who have power over you in that situation.

I like the practice I chose - Physicians and Midwives. Every encounter I had with the staff and my visits have been very positive. One of the hurdles was that they would only allow one support person to come to the hospital and I have always had both my mom and Fayoz there and felt strongly that they should both be there. In the past Fayoz has been pretty stressed out as I give birth and getting him an interpreter has never once been seamless which adds to the stress. Fayoz was better prepared than ever and I really wanted him to be my primary support person this time but I really wanted my mom there. As I discussed this with a midwife she said “Well can your mom interpret?”

I said “....yes” 

So they allowed her to come support me. In later meetings they agreed to have an interpreter come for Fayoz in addition to my mom as well so we were hopeful we could get around that policy. At one point the hospital enacted a policy that would force you to separate from your baby if you tested positive for COVID. I was deeply distressed about this and tried to switch to a home birth / birth center practice with a great reputation but to my disappointment they wouldn’t accept me because of my previous c-section. 

I was able to discuss this policy with my care team and felt better when they said they wouldn’t force a separation, but there were still things at odds with what I felt like would be the kind of birth I wanted. I never felt comfortable with the check in and interviewing process while in labor, the painful COVID test with results an hour later while in labor, the IV port (I got an infection from this with Alora. I did understand a small amount of pitocin helps contract the uterus after birth but I didn’t like the idea of having an IV port), wearing the fetal monitoring device, and especially having no control over who was with me, interrupting me, talking with me and having “responsibility” for me while I was in labor.

However, as I prayed I felt I would have a wonderful birth I could look back on with fondness. 

Taking a week off of work before my due date helped me so much. I felt like I was able to have a positive, even joyful pregnancy with almost no complaints and having a hard stop from work before baby came helped me a lot mentally. My mom came early and we were able to give the house some needed attention and get organized.

The Thursday before my due date I had an appointment. I told the doctor I had a sore throat but that it was probably from allergies. I declined getting checked and a membrane sweep. We were closing on our house for a refinance the next morning so I wasn’t ready to encourage labor to begin. At the end of my appointment she decided I should get tested for COVID because of my sore throat. I was very distressed to learn this meant no membrane sweeps if I was positive as my appointments would become high risk in the hospital. I asked her to do it then but she wouldn’t.

I was very unhappy about having to get a test, but fortunately the results were negative and came in the very next day, which turned out to be a huge blessing.

On Friday (the next day, the Friday before my Monday due date) I started having mild contractions every 20 minutes in the early morning. We were able to close on our house refinance that morning. Kevin and Erin (my sister and her husband) invited us to their home for Kevin’s birthday party. I actually considered going, I really didn't want to ruin the party. But with the thought of being in labor in the car and far from the hospital we invited them to come to our place instead for the party. My contractions were getting more intense but still every 20 minutes and I found I could walk through them so during the party I would just pop up and walk laps around the living room every time one came on. I don’t think anyone else even really noticed.

Here I am in labor and hosting my brother-in-law's birthday party!

That night I took a nice bath in the night and was feeling a bit fearful about the night to come. Even with all my preparation, feeling the intensity of the contractions reminded me of the pain that was coming. I don’t think it’s possible to really recall pain so actually feeling it was scary. I wrote myself some mantras I could repeat during my contractions. I said a very heartfelt prayer that angels would be with me that night, especially my mother ancestors who had given birth. 

We got out the trusty rolling pin so Fayoz could roll my back and bravely faced the night.

I was in labor all night and we got into a kind of rhythm. I’d try to sleep and I would feel a contraction coming. I would smack Fayoz and focus on relaxing while he used the rolling pin to roll my back through the contraction. When it was over I’d give him the thumbs up and both of us would try to go back to sleep. One contraction I signed “continue” with one hand which looked almost just like the thumbs up and he went back to sleep which was kind of funny (but not at the time). I’d also go to the bathroom a lot because that seemed to feel good. Throughout the night I was bleeding and could tell I had lost my mucus plug and having a bloody show. Fayoz tried other ways of massaging and putting pressure on my lower back but the rolling pin worked the best - which was a discovery by my own mom and dad from when she was in labor. There were contractions where I would try to do it without Fayoz and every time I did that I would vow to wake him up for the next one because it made such a big difference.

One of the most amazing things was through a few contractions I had thoughts come to my mind that I knew were not my own about what to focus on and think. I feel strongly that they were from the mother ancestor or ancestors I prayed for that night. 

Studying the Bradley Method made a big difference because I felt like that’s what made me feel good about involving Fayoz so much and feeling like getting through the contractions was a team effort with my job focusing on relaxing and breathing deeply and his job using his muscles to help me feel better. It was a really effective method and I think much better than when I was in labor with Alora and mostly tried to distract myself and power through contractions and also did some Lamaze breathing.

I also felt like studying Ina May’s book helped me a lot too because I completely controlled my environment and I also felt like I was able to focus on and to feel my own cervix opening. I hadn’t noticed this before and it was really interesting because although the contractions were very painful, my cervix opening felt really good. 

I didn’t want to spend the energy to time my contractions but every once in a while I would (apparently this was supposed to be Fayoz’s job, missed that part of my Bradley method training). I just looked up the app I used - at night time it was 15-20 minute apart, at 4am it was 12 minutes apart. The next one I times was 7:10-7:15 which was 5 minutes. This was my warning bell because I was only 7 minutes apart when I went to the hospital with Alora and had her almost right away! 

I called my mom who was sleeping downstairs and had no idea how intense my labor was all night. She ran up and her and Fayoz started packing last minute things while I made calls. I called the midwife and she said to come in. The call was 5 minutes and I didn’t have a contraction through it. I called Marcia to watch the kids but she lived and hour away. Fortunately my neighbor Ashlee was convinced I would wait too long and have the baby in the car and kept insisting she come help with the kids, so I called her and she came over immediately.

With the prep and contractions we probably left the house around 8. The drive to the hospital was mercifully only 20 minutes but it was the worst!! In the car I can’t seem to move, I can only suffer. I wanted to lay down or have mom roll my back but I just couldn’t move. It seemed like they were coming more often than every 5 minutes now and were very strong. 

It was hard to figure out where we needed to go, the entrance was very unclear. When we did they brought a wheelchair and Fayoz loaded it up with my stuff. They told us to go down the hall up the elevator and through the doors to our left. They wouldn’t let mom come with us even though I had prior approval for her to come. They insisted that I could only have one support person. 

Fayoz and I made our way towards the elevators anyways because this was happening and way too fast and I was way too far along to do anything about that. By the time we reached the elevators I couldn’t walk anymore. Fayoz cleared space for me on the wheelchair and pushed me into the elevator. When we got in I knew I needed to push. I couldn’t help myself and I had to push a few times right there in the elevator!

When we got out we had locked doors we had to get through. I banged the intercom and distinctly remember saying “let me in, I’m having a baby!!”

When they buzzed it open it just unlocked instead of actually opening for us so Fayoz couldn’t open the door and push me inside at the same time. There were two people watching us struggle with this, I’m not sure why they didn’t help. I think I asked the guy to open the door for me and by then it had locked again. 

Finally we got in and they wheeled me to triage. I kept telling them “I need to push right now” but they didn’t really speed up because I looked so calm. The same thing happened when I gave birth to Alora. I am just in the zone when I’m in labor and have a high level of mental control and focus. I was almost completely inwardly focused and this baby was coming now.

I remember hearing the girl next to me in triage answering long interview questions and how weird it was to be in the same place as her because I knew I was having this baby right then!

I was completely drenched in sweat, I could just stare at some place in the wall and try to focus on my breathing. Fayoz was doing everything possible to help me feel comfortable. He was really in tune to me and how I was feeling, he was massaging me and trying to help me. 

The midwife checked me, held out 10 fingers for Fayoz and said “she’s a 10!” And called other nurses to help get me to the delivery room. I remember hearing everyone frantically repeating “she’s a ten!” “she’s a ten!” to  gather all as many people as could help at the moment. I kept telling them I needed to push. 

Fayoz said he could see the head beneath a shiny layer of wetness.

They asked me about COVID and I kept repeating that I had the test yesterday and I kept saying “I’m COVID negative!” and they were all relieved and able to take me to the delivery room quickly. Because I did not have time to take a test as I was having the baby right then, they would have had to treat me like I was positive with a very different birth process if I hadn’t just taken the test.

They had me move to the other bed, which was very difficult and as I moved, my water broke all over the bed. 

I wanted my lumbar support pillow but Fayoz had left it in the car so I had them try to jam some pillows behind my back.

I said “Where is my mom??” And one of the nurses said “I’ll take care of that” and came back with her almost right away.

I guess they wouldn’t let her in even though we had approval. They said they wouldn't let her since I had requested interpreter (which was different than my midwives told me). They told her to go home but she said “I can’t, my son-in-law took all our things including our car keys” With that they escorted her to labor and delivery. When she got there she entreated the nurses and that’s when a nurse came out of my delivery room to get her.

When she got in and I got on the table I was free to push! I remembered Ina May had suggested low groans and a relaxed mouth but I don’t feel like I have much control over how I push! 

I think I pushed twice and mom and the midwife told me the head was born and to stop pushing. I made sure my mom knew when to tell me to stop in hopes of minimizing tearing. When his head came out I could feel the rest of him come out too. It really was the most unique and amazing feeling to feel him gush out of me like that.

They put him in my stomach and he had the darkest hair! Just like I knew he would. I knew that he would have dark hair, that he would be a quiet and easy going child, that he had a special mission and that his name was Mason. 

I got to hold him while I delivered the placenta and they stitched up my second degree tear. Having him with me made it all good, I was so happy! Having that warm, wet, crying, dark-haired, hard-earned baby on my skin was grand. It truly was the happiest moment of my life. My wedding and two other births were also the happiest, but since I already have Fayoz as my husband and Jesse and Alora as my children at this point, Mason’s birth can take the place as the happiest day!

There wasn’t time at the hospital for them to do any of the things I didn’t want! They didn’t even do an IV port, they just gave me a shot in the leg instead. 

They asked me all the check in questions after I gave birth. I was surprised they were so long and detailed and very thankful I didn’t have to answer them while in labor.

My mom stayed with us that day and we actually had a very nice time enjoying Mason, eating hospital food and even watched Aquaman together.

Dream support team

Our first nurse was Uzbek! She told us that she thought the Uzbek name for Mason could be Masood (which could also be spelled Masud) or Mansor (also spelled Mansur). Nigora thought it could be Mysore, pronounced Merso.

We named him Mason Amridin Mulladjanov. Amridin was the name of Fayoz's grandpa who he loved very much.

The night was rough, mostly because of all the interruptions from our nurse. 

Sunday morning, Mason was circumcised. I cried when they took him away and almost the whole time he was gone, but he was back very quickly and was perfectly happy! He hasn’t even had any bleeding at all from it! 

We elected to leave early even though we could have stayed another day. I was ready for Mason to be the only one interrupting my sleep. 

The kids meeting Mason on both FaceTime and in person was one of the sweetest moments of my life that I hope I never forget. Their joy was uncontainable. Jesse squealed with glee, ran around and laughed with delight! Alora was just totally in love and in awe. They both hold him, hug him and kiss him and tell him they love him.

Meeting their brother for the first time

I had an inspiration before I gave birth that I would look back on this birth with fondness and I do. It was incredible. I know all that craziness wouldn’t be most people’s preference, but for me it could not have been more perfect given the circumstances. Fayoz said he felt the spirit so strongly through the whole process and it was coming from me and summoning heavenly help.

I love my new son and I’m so thankful for God’s guidance in bringing him here. I’m so thankful he is mine.